I moved in today!

Today was the big day! I moved out of my little town into a little bit bigger town to go to college away from home.

                                                    Just kidding, its not that small and crowded.

The hour and a half drive was a little bit hard to deal with, only because of the fact that my mother was basically crying the whole way up. She is so sweet, but it makes me feel so bad when she cries because I''m leaving. There's just nothing I can do about that. I don't want to see her reaction when I leave for 3 months to SP next year rather than moving there. Lucky she already knows I want to more there so she can be a little more mentally prepared.

My apartment is OK, a little worn out but I guess I shouldn't expect the Ritz Carlton. My roomies seem pretty cool. They all are talkative and seem respectful and fun. I hope that this year will go good with them.

Tomorrow is the first day of classes, and I get to see one of my favorite Brasileiras, so I am looking forward to that.

Wish me luck!

Beijos,
Alex

So this sucks....

I'm severely Jet Lagged.

My plan was to stay up until 10pm tonight, but that plan went out the window when I passed out at 5pm and didn't wake up until now. So now its 2;30 in the morning and there is literally nothing to do. So I ate some cookies and almond m&m's and now feel disgusting. I don't take sugar very well.

And tomorrow (I guess it's today now) I'm moving into my dorm. So tomorrow, meeting my roomies for the first time, I will be zombielike. Wonderful.

Okay enough complaining for now, I'm getting more m&m's.

Tchau and know I'm jealous of you all sleeping!
Alex

And...I'm back!

I am back from Hawaii. It went tooooo fasst!

It was amazing, and is easily my favorite place within the USA. The weather was surprising, even though I've been there a handful of times it was shockingly chilly (ha.ha. like 85 degrees is considered chilly...well it is by me considering I live in a humid /hotter than hell swamp known as the Philadelphia metropolitan region.), with random showers that lasted for 3 minutes that could be seen moving from one side of the island to the other. And the water was surprisingly cold( but I guess I'm a water snob because I'm used to 85 degree water in Mexico) but none-the-less was inviting. Kauai was kind of rainy but I guess that's to be expected considering it is THE WETTEST PLACE ON THE PLANET with more than 550 inches of rain per year. For example, Sao Paulo gets 52 inches and Rio gets about 46 inches.

I'm a little bit drowsy right now considering I've been up for more than 24 hours, but once I get pictures uploaded onto my computer I swear that I'll be posting some wordless Wednesday faux artistic shots that I thought were nice, but probably actually suck. A lot to look forward to!

Interesting tid-bit: Only heard Portuguese twice on the entire trip. Compare that to last summer in Italy where I literally heard more Portuguese speaking Brasileiros touring around than Italian (it was Italy for god sakes) or English. I'm not lying when I tell you that the cruise that I was on for half of that trip last year was made up of Brazilians. They announced things over that annoying intercom thing in Portuguese before English, Spanish or Italian. This was before I actually had balls and used my Portuguese ability to talk to Portuguese speakers, so I just watched them creepily from afar listening to their comments about how beautiful the sites (me) were and stuff like that.

Bahaha.

Anyway, I probably have a billion spelling errors in here because I'm too tired to care about checking my spelling right now, and I need to relax because tomorrow is MOVE IN DAY at college. Meu deus I'm going to hyperventalate thinking about it. I don't think my room-mate even speaks any language except Japanese.

This. Will. Be. Interesting. (and scary.)

Ate logo gente! Glad to be back in your loving company!

Updates on my life, if you care.

Soooooo, I'm done with my internship (thank god.) It was starting to make me lose brain cells and I'm not kidding. I honestly couldn't speak in coherent sentences anymore, I had insomnia and couldn't fall asleep until 3AM most nights and I was up bright and early at 6:30 AM every morning. That compiled over the course of 2 months made me forget how to spell and talk in English. The Portuguese is more natural at this point for me when I'm tired, hell I even dream in Portuguese at this point. But anyway...I'm glad that's over.

And I leave for Hawaii @3:30 AM tomorrow morning! It will be wonderful! I don't think I'll have internet access except for my phone, so I think I'll be on a 2 week hiatus here, sorry to tell you. I'm super pumped.

College starts the day I get back from Hawaii. I guess I'm the worlds ultimate genius...planning vacation until the day class starts. That coupled with a 12 hour flight and 6 hour time difference will be extremely interesting on the first day of school. Kill me.

I finally got my dorm assignment! I have an on campus apartment with 4 other roomies. I don't know any of them. I'm a little nervous, but that's normal I guess. I was happy about getting the apartment because now I only have to share a bathroom with 4 other slobs, not 100. Plus, I didn't want to make all the other guys feel insecure when I was walking around the showers/bathroom obviously more "qualified" than most (TMI!!!!!) Joking but not really. But seriously.

Anyway, I got an email from my Portuguese teacher in Bahia, and I wanted to cry because I was so jealous. She was in Trancoso and I reaaaalllllly want to go there. Lucky Paulistana. Oh and my PORT book for this semester was supposed to cost $300, but because of this my school is not ordering it through the bookstore--but they still expect that you get the book. FML. I guess I'll have to return to drug dealing and selling my body so I can learn something.

Anyway, I thinks that's it for now! I will be able to respond to comments on my phone ( I think) but I don't like posting entries on my phone....but maybe I'll put pictures up...don't know. I'll talk to you later blogger friends. Love you all!

Ate breve,
Alex

Brrr, It's gotten cold around here!

New definition of cold for me: below 85 degrees.

It has been a pretty damn hot summer here in the east coast. Actually, the entire country has been really hot this summer. I know here, in the mid-Atlantic between Philly and NY we had the hottest July on record. The average temperature of the month (averaged between daytime highs and nighttime lows) was 91 degrees F.

This has me a little nervous about Hawaii next week. There temperatures are an eternal 80-85. I'm nervous that I'm going to be cold. Yes I know I sound like an absolute psychopath, but I'm dead serious.

The past few days have been warmer than the average for this time of the year, but honestly 85 never felt so cold. And 75 percent humidity just about makes my skin crack and lips/mucosa membrane bleed.

And Brasil, pfff, that's going to seem like a frozen hell when I arrive in Sao Paulo in Brazilian winter in two years.

My plea: Help me thicken my blood, it's thinner than anything at this point.

PS: Sorry for not posting in a while!

Wordless Wednesday

 

What a cool  (an) awesome picture of Liberdade (the Japantown of SP) with the Cathedral in the Background. Is that Se back there? Can't tell....

It's my Birthday!

WOOHOO! One year away from being legal, and two decades old.

This is strange, being out of my teens.

Well today should be fun. I'm working. Yipee....

Top Search Terms of the Week

Another week of classy searchers leave their mark on my blog! So what were the search terms this week?

1) Tranny Blogspot
2) Tranny Blogger
3) Hernia Test
4) Tranny Blog
5) Garoto de Programa
__________

My intention was to write a fun and entertaining blog, but it looks like I am now dabbling in the sex industry. Oh well..

Doctor's Office Adventures.

You guys know me by now. I like to rant a lot, and I'm sorry about that. At least I have attentive ears that listen to what I'm saying!

Last night I went to the doctors office. I am not one for the doctors office...no offense to any doctors it's nothing personal. I just don't like the sterile smell and bone chilling air conditioning ...it's nothing about the doctors themselves.

The comical thing is I still go to my pediatrician. Here I come romping into a pediatricians office, 19 years old, into a room filled with 1-10 year old children, four times taller than anyone in the entire building that happened to be tastefully wallpapered with zebras and giraffes. I guess they were gong for an "African Safari Chic" look or something.

I waited for close to an hour in the waiting room with snot-nosed kindergarteners (no offense kiddies) until the nice nurse called me into the room of evil where she weighed me (I gained 5 lbs since last year...shit, time for some Oxi) and grew an inch (I guess that sets off the weight? And I thought I stopped growing like a year ago...guess not.) I was given my hearing test and all the other incidental physical stuff.

Off to the private room we went. This room was a little different in motif, but just as classy with firetrucks and firemen plastered on the walls. What should I expect, I mean it is for children, right?

I waited for another hour until my cute middle aged doctor came in and patted me down, stuck her fingers in my neck, made me bend over with her standing behind me, and asked how many times I have had unprotected sex...awkward. Just when I was bracing for her to pull down my pants and do the infamous hernia test she proclaimed that she would believe me if I told her there was no problem there. I told her no problem, because lets just say I'm not used to mommas in my underwear. Phew. The air conditioning of doctor's offices does strange and embarrassing things, if you catch my drift.

Now comes the needles. I hate needles. The only time I find them acceptable is when they are found on the street, dirty or already used and are filled with foreign substances. Joking. But I do hate needles. Good thing they injected me with hepatitis, measles, mumps, rubella, tuberculosis and the flu. No wonder I feel like shit today.

The moral of the story: Don't get that many shots in one day because it will make you feel like shit the next. And don't let fondling happen in a cold room. I sure as hell wouldn't!

And I swear, next time I go into a medical facility I'm going to ask why they feel the need to emasculate men with the 34 degree F air conditioning.

Ate logo!
Beijos & Abracos,
Alex

Sloppy Saturdays-Pictures from my hard drive edition!

Right to left: Ana Beatriz Barros, Fernanda Motta and another random girl. Who's more beautiful? I don't know because Im in love with both Ana and Fernanda.

 A very normal apple.

 Araucaria no Rio Grande do Sul.

 Gisele!

                                                         Parque Lage, Rio de Janeiro, RJ

SORRY! I HAD TO REMOVE MY PICTURE BECAUSE NOW I'M   FINDING IT POPPING UP IN STRANGE AND UNUSUAL PLACES! 

Just Kidding Google, I love you.

See post below. Sorry Google! 

Dumb post of the day!

Here is the breakdown of my readers and where they come from. Interesting to me, but to you most likely not.

USA-47%
BRASIL-30%
ITALY-10%
NETHERLANDS-4.5%
and there are about 25 other countries represented in the remaining 8.5% of readers.

Touchy Topic, but It needs to be discussed.

Please don't be annoyed by this topic.

All my life I have been told by the media that Brasil is a dangerous place. I read on the news of the problems with the drug trade, and how recently the country has fallen into another crack epidemic, which sucks.

I know statistically things are getting better with less street crime and significantly less murders, but I have to ask: does it feel safe?

Feeling safe and being safe are two completely different animals. I can walk down the street in Philadelphia or Washington DC and feel safe, but not actually be safe. Hell, Philadelphia has a higher homicide rate than Rio at this point!

But my question to my fellow bloggers is: Do you feel safe walking down the street in "Big City' Brasil? I know its a vague question, but if you have any expertise in the area and any stories to share I would be quite happy to hear them.

I know it's not as bad as they say, but I don't want to be naive either.

Again, fellow Brasileiros who read this blog, please take no offense to this post. It's just something I've been sort of thinking about for a while.

You can call me stupid, but even if Brasil were as violent as Baghdad, I don't think it would change my opinion on wanting to move there.

Abs!
Alex

Brazilians taking over New York City.

I was in New York yesterday, and it was a bea chi ful day to gat up and take the 45 minute drive north. (soooo farrrr)


Everywhere I went I heard Portuguese, of course Brazilian. I remember that I read recently that Brasileiros spend more than any other foreign visitor in New York while there. Pretty representative of what I saw I'd say...the new way to spot a Brazuca family is look what kind of shopping bags they are carrying. The obligatory shopping bag is Louis Vuitton. Most likely they will hold that in the same hand as their Tiffany, Cartier and Mikkimoto bags. On the other arm is their 2 year old stereotypically un-Brazilian looking child being a little whiny, but nothing revolutionary.

I bet most Americans confuse them to be Italian. 

Too bad I didn't strike up conversation with any of them. I have this weird thing where I get nervous around random Brasileiros because I'm afraid I'll forget a word or something in Portuguese. I guess its time for me to grow some balls.

Allergies

It's summer. Usually during the summer, there is no such thing as allergies...well for me at least. The spring and fall are usually hell on earth for me because my eyes basically become swollen shut, my nose is stuffed and my sinuses have more pressure than humanly acceptable.

But this year, SUMMER has sucked because of these damn allergies. I wake up every morning with a horribly sore thought and blood shot eyes. KILL ME PLEASE!

1,000 Views!

Thank you guys for reading my blog! I have over 1,000 hits in a little more than a month! I'm considering it a success as of now! Hopefully I can keep this up....

Anyway, I LOVE MY READERS, AND THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY CRAZY ANTICS!

Picture of the Moment

I'm not one to go and talk about the poverty in Brasil and advertise it to my friends, because quite frankly everyone thinks that Brasil is basically a giant version of Haiti. Obviously that is completely false, but we all know that there still is a good percentage of people living in poverty. I think this is a cool picture, I love the grit and color. It's Heliopolis, the largest favela in Sampa. Luckily, they are urbanizing this favela, like most in the city. Later on I'll post some pictures of the rendering of the new buildings they are placing in the location on former favela barracos.

Wordless Wednesday- My Travel Shots!

Here are some photos I've taken over the past couple of trips I've taken. In September I'll add pictures of Hawai'i once I get back. Brasil will be on my list veryyyy soon.

                                                                          MYKANOS

                                                                    ISTANBUL

                                                                   ISTANBUL

                                                                        ISTANBUL

                                                                    ISTANBUL

                                                                     SANTORINI

                                                        BOUGAINVILLEA em GRECIA 

Ps. These are all my own fotos, and thank you Meredith for suggesting the Wordless Wednesday Title. I think I'm going to steal it from you! =)

Hello, I work @ the Prostitution Palace! =)

As most of you know, prostitution is illegal in the United States. That doesn't stop anyone though inlcuding yours truly (just kidding....well...only when I want money for my Brasil fund....)!

                                                                    Deborah Secco as Bruna Surfistinha! Quer um cigarro?

But as a part of my internship that has been ravaging my life for the past three weeks, I get to work at the front desk of a well known hotel in the area. It's amazing how blatant they are.

Garota de Programa 1 - around 20 years old, brunette, mildly good looking. What a shame, becuase she came back down those elevators in 30 minutes tops. That seemed a little fast.

Garota de Programa 2- around 65 years old (I'm not kidding!) and wrinkly as any weather worn BocaBabe you've ever seen. This was disturbing, because she was up there for a  while longer, possibly an hour and a half.

The dead giveaway to the whole scheme was when two sweaty, overweight, middle aged men came walking down to the front desk and told us they would like to check out. One of them was in the suite that costs $499 per night on the weekdays.

Ewwwwwww. 

So, this is the perfect time to give you my offer: My rate is $25 an hour, and you don't pay if you don't like it. Oh yeah, and I'm a virgin too. Tack on another $25 on the grand total for that. Call me @ 1-800 LOVE ME LONG TIME or email me at bossabreezesinyourcrotch@programa.com. Thanks!

Tranny Ana!

No point to this post other than to tell you that one of my top search keywords in the past day or two has been "tranny ana." Interesting.